Sometimes I need a slap with reality to get my attention so I can see the truth of the matter. I’m always waiting for the “perfect moment” or “when things are right” to get something done. I want to wait to paint until I get the studio back in perfect shape and all of mom’s stuff out of the way or I have the studio at TMBR completed…I need to wait until I have the right amount of money before I can start doing things that I enjoy. When I have the perfect plan, I’ll start doing that…
All this waiting for perfection has left me physically broken and emotionally drained…and nothing is done. I caught myself not wanting to draw because it wouldn’t be good enough because I haven’t been practicing…wtf? My logic has morphed into fuzzy logic…you know, that thought process that convinces you it makes sense like the voice on one shoulder that says it makes perfect sense to drive past a cop at 90 miles an hour when he has his radar pointed right at you…that fuzzy logic…
I just found out my knee isn’t perfect either. Anyone aging knows the pain of arthritis and degenerative disorders of the muscular/skeletal system. How many of you are waiting for the pain to go away or for the right moment to do something about it?
The time isn’t right…the The situation is not perfect…I have’t done enough yet…BS! I’m setting an appointment with a surgeon to go over my options. I’m going to paint this weekend! My garden planter beds aren’t done but I’m going to plant anyway!
I would rather have something done imperfectly than have nothing done with perfection! How many other things have I not done? OMG…the list is too long and overwhelming! So many articles I was going to write when everything else was perfect…I’m sorry I have not taken care of you, my followers. I have neglected you and many other things in my life waiting for that perfect moment…worried my writing wasn’t right or the thoughts weren’t complete…my apologies…I’m not perfect…but I will make an effort to be here and participate in the life I have been blessed with and stop trying so damn hard to be perfect.
No more waiting! Let the flaws fly! – Love and Hug!
I wasted months making excuses. I watched every plumbing how-to video on YouTube and read every how-to book on the subject I could find (including one in Spanish…at least I looked at the pictures) because it was the only one I could find at my local Home Depot. I talked to friends and folks on the street trying to get some insight into how to go about doing the rough-in plumbing on the cabin at TMBR (TM…a whole ‘nother story! Yes, I changed the name formerly known as TM to TMBR) and I still don’t have the knowledge or self confidence to do the work myself.
I mean really, it took forever to get the courage to bypass the propane tank on the RV. It’s time to face reality here. I need to get this done to move forward. I don’t have the time or skills to do this. I know! I can do anything I set my mind to! But you know what? I have limitations too! Sometimes, it just makes sense to pay a professional to do the work.
I guess it really came into full focus when I was going to go up to TMBR to start cutting holes in the floor and my kitchen sink at the house broke. I spent all day fixing it and realized I had caused the problem myself. When I replaced the garbage disposal a couple of years ago, I put one pipe in backwards. I didn’t even realize there was an up or down to it. granted, it did last 2 years before it gave way…but the point is, if I want the cabin rough-in done right…I’m NOT going to do it myself!
I will take the chance with the fixtures after everything else passes inspection and I know even if I make a mistake, it will be something I can fix relatively easily, just like the sink but making it past the inspectors for the LP lines and everything else is just too important and can hold up the rest of the project beyond what I am willing to wait right now.
Electrical Rough-in
I paid for the electrical rough-in already. I’m learning about so many other things right now, there just isn’t enough bandwidth to poke any more information into the space between my ears.
Time is also valuable and lately I just haven’t had much. I’m fighting with myself to create art. When I get home from work, I’m exhausted and just want to veg. Lately it’s been more about just forcing myself to create anything. I’ve been doing some crafting like making soap because I don’t have to think really hard or be available emotionally to handle what comes out of the brush strokes like I do when I’m painting. I’ve been needing more and more time to catch my breath and really need this cabin done so that I can just refill my bio-batteries and breathe.
Citrus Forest – Coconut and Olive Oil Soap by TMBR
Too many projects may look like a busy, full life…for me it has become a stagnant life. Half started this…gonna start that…I’ll get to it when…all the things that were in full steam mode a year ago have halted. I have halted.
Maybe it was the feeling of failure when I was laid off last summer. Maybe it’s because I still haven’t faced or dealt with the emotions of losing my mom, 2 aunts, 2 dogs a cat and a job all within 14 months. (May 1st this year will be the 2 year anniversary of mom passing.)What ever the reason…The fear of failure has set in. The need for a nap has taken over and I just want to find the fulfillment of finishing something that is important to me.
I have a mess of stuff I need to get rid of anyway. (I still haven’t cleaned out my studio of all the things that moved in before, during and when mom passed. I haven’t even started to get rid of stuff.) I need to sell stuff that is holding me back to make room for things that can take me forward. I only have a few things of actual monetary value. Not much value, but maybe enough to pay the plumber.
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That may be a big part of it too. Most things I own whether mine or my moms, have no $$ value. I’m always fixing what was broken or mending what I think has just a bit more life left if I just sew up one more hole. I’m the queen of Jerry rigging and proud of it for the most part…but I don’t want to sew up another hole at TMBR. I want it fixed right the first time.
I’ve learned a lot about plumbing this winter. At least I can say that for all the research I did trying to get to a point where I could do the rough-in myself, I know that I have enough knowledge now that if in the future something does break, I can fix it. But for now…I’m selling my “Plumbing for Dummies” to pay for a plumber!
I learned how to make butter when I was a kid growing up with my grandparents. My grandmother taught me how to make butter in a jar and then I went to North Dakota, my Aunt Hilda also taught me how to make bottle butter. (She also showed me real churn butter but that is for another post)It’s really very simple… heavy cream… a little salt and a little bit of elbow grease.
Hand squeezed butter
First you pour a couple cups of heavy cream into a container… it could be a jar or a cup or some kind of a mixing container… whatever is comfortable for you. It doesn’t have to be measured or anything. I never really measure. I just pour stuff in and like my grandma used to say…”it turns out pretty good by guess and by golly…”
Stir cream until it separates
Add salt to taste and stir cream until it separates. Once you can see a kind of Milky, watery substance separating from the fat that ultimately becomes the butter…stir for a little bit longer. It will get harder to stir and then it will get very grainy.
Hand squeeze the butter
You can use cheese cloth for this next part or you can do it like both my grandma and Aunt Hilda did and just pick it up in your hand and squeeze the liquid out between your fingers. It will be messy…but oh so fun! Just keep squeezing until all the liquid runs out and you have a little ball of butter left in your hand. Do this in small handfuls until the entire batch has been squeezed into little balls of butter. Voila! you are done. Now…go bake bread! Next post!
*Disclaimer…I am not a professional plumber or licensed in any way. If you blow yourself up doing this…it’s not my fault! If you are not confident in your ability to do this yourself…don’t do it yourself and pay someone with the skills to do it safely.
Coffee made on an RV stove
I have an old RV that I have parked at Tiger Mountain and am not able to get it to a location to refill the LP tank so that I can use the appliances inside. I decided the best way to deal with this is to bypass the onboard tank so that I can use a standard gas grill tank.
I bypassed the onboard tank so I could use a standard propane grill tank for my RV appliances
After not finding the answers to my questions after tons of YouTube videos and asking friends and family what to do…I went to talk to the local hardware store staff. Finally…I have the answer and was able to do the work myself! I figured I would share this with my followers so that maybe…just maybe what took me a few hurdles will be much more simple for you if you need the info.
propane gauge
First things first! make sure your onboard tank is empty. Then, turn it off to make sure you are not cutting the pipe while there is gas in it. Some old tanks have a gauge so you can see if it is empty. Some don’t, so use your best judgement on how to be sure it is empty.
Be sure to turn off the propane
I wasn’t sure if my gauge was accurate, so I just used it up until it was obvious that it was empty and then left it “on” with all windows open in the RV for a few minutes after I made my last pot of coffee to be sure the lines were empty.
Once I was sure the lines were empty, I turned the valve to “Closed” and used a pipe cutter
pipe cutter
to take a small section of the pipe out so I could use it as a guide when I went to the hardware store to find the parts needed.
The pipe section I removed with a pipe cutter
When working with gas lines, you will need a compression connector that can attach to a thread-less copper tube. Because my RV is a 1977, it has an older copper tubing that is no longer available at most hardware stores. I was a bit worried that I wouldn’t find a 1/2″ fitting that would work and was prepared to have to make due with a retrofit of some type. Luckily for me, the thickness of the tubing is all that was really different. the advantage to using the compression connection is that it will fit the outside circumference and the inside will not make that big of a difference in the LP flow.
compression connector and flare valve
I also had to pick up a 1/2 to 3/8 flare valve so that I would have a place to thread the propane hose connector. Putting it all together was pretty easy to do. The biggest thing is make sure you tighten the fittings and check for leaks with a soap solution to be sure you are well connected.
RV stove burner after onboard propane bypassPlease, if you have concerns or are not comfortable doing this yourself…have a professional do the work for you. It may cost a few bucks but that is well worth your safety and sanity!
Looking through the multitude of Facebook posts, I find myself skipping over the political stands and “woe is me” suction of the daily life in the city. Focusing instead on the many sunset and sunrise pictures posted by the fortunate few who see them from exotic locations and share them with glee as they walk you through the day that led to the phenomenal sun kissed images of the setting orb of light.
I’m not jealous…I may not have the sea as a dunking hole for the orb, but I have hills and valleys a plenty. Even in the city…I see a few folks here and there posting some of the most amazing sunsets with a foreground of hustle and bustle chaotic enough to start a wave of crazy! Yet, the sunset is serene and calm…never asking for awe, but surely receiving it from the sigh of delight and subtle moan of inner pleasure…
As I gaze upon the light…setting softly into the hills…I wonder…will tomorrow be as momentous? Is this as good as it gets? Will the days that follow be as glorious as right now?! Why bother with the questions? Why waste this precious moment wondering what will be? Enjoy…then behold the next morning…sun set from the past…rises again even better than the last!
Grateful…thankful…inspired…
I was lucky enough to get some free tomato cages and decided that I would use them to make a fence. I wasn’t quite sure how to do it then, so I started playing with the idea of a gabion. Gabion is basically rocks and some kind of wire mesh and you can use it to make everything from bench seating to retaining walls. I started playing with that idea and created a bar for my fire pit first just to see how it worked. I Incorporated some of the things I learned from that into using these tomato cages to make fence posts. I’m going to use barbed wire to connect them all but this is basically what I went through to create the Caged system to hold the rocks. It’s a tomato cage which has a fairly large hole between the wires so I use some additional mesh wire mesh to kind of supplement the tomato cage. The tomato cage just becomes the actual structure of it and then the rest of the mesh just helps hold the rocks in.
Have you ever climbed out of bed in the morning feeling like there was just something missing in your life? You couldn’t figure out what it was but you knew there was a hole in your big picture?
I’ve been feeling like that a lot lately. First I thought it was because I have lost so many people I love in less than a year…My mom, 2 aunts, a cat and a dog. Then I thought maybe it was because I’ve become so overwhelmed by politics that I was just “upset” and that all would be well once the shock of the current craziness wears off. I quickly realized that the crazy is here to stay for at least 4 years and there is not much I can do about it other than stay away from the extremes on either side of the political pendulum.
After some soul searching and a few cups of my favorite homemade ginger and cinnamon tea, I decided to meditate on it for a while and see if my universal connection could give me some answers. Come to find out…it wasn’t anything external at all…I was missing…I have been going through the motions and doing what I’m supposed to do on a very superficial level. I have not been ME for a while now.
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I know I said I could manage a full-time job and continue to do art and be creative. Well, maybe I was wrong. I did manage to have a show every month of 2016 but many of the shows were just recycled versions of the ones before. I only created a few small new works in 2016. Again, I will give myself a bit of slack. I was hit hard by death and devastation in 2016 and the fact that I kept my head up at all was only due to my grandma in my head saying…”find the blue jeans…”
I guess sometimes you have to get lost in order to find yourself. I know deep in my heart that TM is “home” for me. I feel homesick when I can’t get up there. I am working to get a small cabin built there and have started on the studio space. I spent every moment I could there last summer and even into late fall trying to get things ready for the thaw this year so my “home” can be completed.
Here is a link to a post on Facebook after I built a cabinet stair for the studio. And this is the beginning of the hole in the ground… waiting for spring thaw to build the cabin…
I’ve been very lost this past year. I’ve kept moving forward but haven’t been myself. I have been creative but not in the typical sense…I’m not making grand paintings, but I did create an awesome cabinet stair and I’m hoping to find me on my mountain top this spring and summer. I’m hoping to find that deep need for creative outlet will keep me going through anything the universe has in store for me. Sometimes the thick gets in the way and we get lost…but I have faith that the journey to find my way out will not only keep me moving forward but will offer experiences to feed my creative energy once I find my way out of being lost.
Moving on after losing a loved one is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I haven’t mastered it by any stretch of the imagination. When my dad and Grampa and even my dog died in 1999, I was a wreck for over a year…When my mom and aunt and even another dog died in 2016… I…I just haven’t been quite the same. I’m going through the motions. I’m building a cabin at TM and I get up and go to work every day but I have to force myself to “be strong” and not fall apart every time someone looks at me.
This is my first attempt at getting back into the real world. I had stopped blogging when I went back to a “real job” and I swore I could do it without losing my handle on art so I put some energy into painting and I had art in a gallery every month of 2016, but I just haven’t been able to really go anywhere with it because I really just don’t know how. I struggle to talk about anything now. Its been hard for so long now…I’m not sure how to start. This may all seem like gibberish…that’s fine…If I can just get the pump primed by letting the emotional block loose just a bit…
I guess I’m at that age where everyone I know is either taking care of a parent or they have lost a parent recently and that makes it even harder to let out my emotion because I don’t want to make it all about me when I see so many others going through the same thing and hurting just as bad. Even those of us with issues with our parents from youth have learned to see beyond those petty issues and see the person we once thought was invincible become weak and frail and somehow we found ourselves hopelessly in love with the person we once thought just “didn’t get us”… Saying good-bye is so much easier when you are angry…when you let in the love…it hurts so…so much more…
Thanks for putting up with my babble…it may take a few tries to get the words to flow again…I have so many things I want to say…I just have to figure out how to get them out of me…
It takes me less than an hour to paint these and I sold 3 of them…
Are you a sell out? You know that thing they call an artist when they actually find a way to make a living from their art…
I’ve heard it so many times at show openings and art gatherings…”Did you hear about (pick a name)?! What a sell out! They totally compromised their art to make a buck!” Well…let me tell you something…if you were a vegan for moral issues, not health issues… stranded on a rock in the middle of nowhere and hadn’t eaten for days and someone showed up with a piece of fish…would you be a sell out for eating it or a survivor who could climb down off the rock with your new found energy from eating the fish?
I like to think of myself as a fairly moral person and I have professed for years that I don’t want to fit in a box and be labeled and have to conform to societies definition of “ok” but I am also a survivor. I have survived many traumatic situations and it is because I have a will to look for ways to make what I see as “right” fit into what the world “expects” from me. I still refuse to fit into one box but I am figuring out how to use societies boxes to survive.
Recently, I was invited to participate in an art festival in Colorado http://www.flavorsofcolorado.com/ and they asked me to bring a little bit of everything I do…I was so excited to have an opportunity to spill out of the box and show off all my skills and talents…It was perfect! I didn’t have to have a niche…I didn’t have to have ONE box! So I took a bunch of boxes and paintings and stuff and a little bit of this and a little bit of that…I took so much stuff I couldn’t see out the windows as I drove down the scenic highway to get to the festival!
I sold a little of everything but didn’t sell much of anything…bummer…what a buzz kill… I did sell some of my “quick demo” paintings that I thought were ok, but not spectacular…and I sold some jewelry and other small things… But the weather was fantastic and I got to sit with my feet in the cool grass and listen to fabulous music all weekend! I also had time to visit with my neighboring vendors and learn from their experiences and see some of them work their magic!
The Vail Valley Art Guild, http://www.vailvalleyartguild.com/ had some wonderful artists and did demonstrations and had everything from pottery to painting and photography and I truly enjoyed watching them work and looking at their art, but like me…they didn’t sell much. Not that their work wasn’t phenomenal…it was truly inspiring! Folks just don’t go to festivals like that to buy expensive art and then have to carry it around a festival the rest of the day…
One vendor was particularly successful selling…They had one thing and it could fit in a purse or pocket or worn as they walked through the fair… Urban Poncho, http://www.myurbanponcho.com/ was just raking in the $$$ so I watched and took mental notes as Anne did her thing. I could probably sell them now too after hearing the sales pitch over and over and over…she had customers standing 3-4 deep listening to her go on and on all weekend about the many ways to wear that ONE poncho!
Ok…so you ask…”I thought you didn’t want to have to have a niche?! It sounds like Urban Poncho has a niche…” Well…you are right! They do…but they have many niches…The main partner that started the company has “multiple businesse[s] a print brokering online business called www.NicePricePrints.com, a direct mail business, and have owned and published multiple magazines in the past. Furthermore, as a hobby I started sewing and have been a seamstress ever since.” (quote taken from the About page on their website)
So…it’s not just about not wanting to fit in a box…it’s about being able to fit society’s box into what you do. So…again don’t fit in society’s box…fit society’s box into what you do…you can still do everything, but don’t put your eggs in the same box with your anvil!
So what’s my take away? Folks at festivals want something small and easy to manage at the fair. My new mantra for festivals is… “If it fits in a pocket or purse…it can still be diverse…” I will keep making my jewelry and small objects for festivals. That is one consistency I found between this festival and the last one…my jewelry sells…and I will keep doing my paintings but reserve them for gallery shows where they can be seen and not blown over by wind and folks looking are more willing to put it in their car and take it home because they aren’t going to be walking around a festival for another 3 hours…
“Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.” ~Pablo Picasso
Have you ever wondered how you can make a living as an artist instead of just doing it as a hobby?
The art world rules say you have to find a niche and get gallery representation. A lot of the blogs and business advice sites out there today say keep your day job, but I would like to offer another option…do whatever it takes and be willing to open your world to a variety of income sources to kick the day job and keep your bills paid with your creative works. In other words, don’t just rely on getting into gallery shows to pay the bills. Look at other sources of income like teaching, commission projects, online sales and festivals.
Also, dare to be yourself! You don’t have to be like everyone else who sells to make a sale. Try stepping out of your comfort zone and maybe even be willing to be laughed at. Be odd, be out there and be dangerous if that is true to who you are.
Ultimately it boils down to having a positive outlook and a willingness to be criticized and ridiculed for not following the rules…but YOU are an ARTIST…so break some rules!
