Ok! I give!

I wasted months making excuses. I watched every plumbing how-to video on YouTube and read every how-to book on the subject I could find (including one in Spanish…at least I looked at the pictures) because it was the only one I could find at my local Home Depot. I talked to friends and folks on the street trying to get some insight into how to go about doing the rough-in plumbing on the cabin at TMBR (TM…a whole ‘nother story! Yes, I changed the name formerly known as TM to TMBR) and I still don’t have the knowledge or self confidence to do the work myself.

I mean really, it took forever to get the courage to bypass the propane tank on the RV. It’s time to face reality here. I need to get this done to move forward. I don’t have the time or skills to do this. I know! I can do anything I set my mind to! But you know what? I have limitations too! Sometimes, it just makes sense to pay a professional to do the work.

I guess it really came into full focus when I was going to go up to TMBR to start cutting holes in the floor and my kitchen sink at the house broke. I spent all day fixing it and realized I had caused the problem myself. When I replaced the garbage disposal a couple of years ago, I put one pipe in backwards. I didn’t even realize there was an up or down to it. granted, it did last 2 years before it gave way…but the point is, if I want the cabin rough-in done right…I’m NOT going to do it myself!

I will take the chance with the fixtures after everything else passes inspection and I know even if I make a mistake, it will be something I can fix relatively easily, just like the sink but making it past the inspectors for the LP lines and everything else is just too important and can hold up the rest of the project beyond what I am willing to wait right now.

I paid for the electrical rough-in already. I’m learning about so many other things right now, there just isn’t enough bandwidth to poke any more information into the space between my ears.

Time is also valuable and lately I just haven’t had much. I’m fighting with myself to create art. When I get home from work, I’m exhausted and just want to veg. Lately it’s been more about just forcing myself to create anything. I’ve been doing some crafting like making soap because I don’t have to think really hard or be  available emotionally to handle what comes out of the brush strokes  like I do when I’m painting. I’ve been needing more and more time to catch my breath and really need this cabin done so that I can just refill my bio-batteries and breathe.

Too many projects may look like a busy, full life…for me it has become a stagnant life. Half started this…gonna start that…I’ll get to it when…all the things that were in full steam mode a year ago have halted. I have halted.

Maybe it was the feeling of failure when I was laid off last summer. Maybe it’s because I still haven’t faced or dealt with the emotions of losing my mom, 2 aunts, 2 dogs a cat and a job all within 14 months. (May 1st this year will be the 2 year anniversary of mom passing.)What ever the reason…The fear of failure has set in. The need for a nap has taken over and I just want to find the fulfillment of finishing something that is important to me.

I have a mess of stuff I need to get rid of anyway. (I still haven’t cleaned out my studio of all the things that moved in before, during and when mom passed. I haven’t even started to get rid of stuff.) I need to sell stuff that is holding me back to make room for things that can take me forward.  I only have a few things of actual monetary value. Not much value, but maybe enough to pay the plumber.

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That may be a big part of it too. Most things I own whether mine or my moms, have no $$ value. I’m always fixing what was broken or mending what I think has just a bit more life left if I just sew up one more hole. I’m the queen of Jerry rigging and proud of it for the most part…but I don’t want to sew up another hole at TMBR. I want it fixed right the first time.

I’ve learned a lot about plumbing this winter. At least I can say that for all the research I did trying to get to a point where I could do the rough-in myself, I know that I have enough knowledge now that if in the future something does break, I can fix it.  But for now…I’m selling my “Plumbing for Dummies” to pay for a plumber!