So… when I started this blog, I was setting out to change my world and maybe even the world of others by baring my soul and digging into my subconscious for answers to help me and others find a way to embrace the creative side that all humans are blessed with. I was on a roll! It was all my mom’s fault and it was easy to blurt out how I was “wronged” as a child and say “this is my reason for abandoning my God given talents!”

Well…my mom has since fallen ill and I have had to re-think, re-evaluate, remember and research into her perceptions and views of what I had previously determined to be written in stone and needed no further explanation. It just so happens that when my mom fell and hit her head, (you can read more about that here https://bohemiantiger.com/2013/12/12/i-honked/) it was due in part to the myriad random books and papers strewn about her apartment. She was going through some things to eliminate some of the clutter and in the process, made a bit more clutter.

As part of my duties as a loving and forgiving daughter, I had to go clean up the mess so that if and when she would be ready to go home, she could maneuver about with ease.  The first day at mom’s I found some letters she had written to my grandma…oh man…I shouldn’t have read them! Not because it was a violation of my mom’s privacy, but because I learned some things I didn’t want to know…

Letters lead to journals lead to excerpts from random psychology books lead to mental health documents lead to me needing to possibly seek counseling my self! So much information and so little time! Do I confront her now that she is getting stronger and is no longer confused from the bump on her head?! Do I leave this alone and forget I ever saw or read anything?! Her heart is what we worry about now…it’s always been bad, but since the fall, it hasn’t stabilized…In my heart, I feel pain and need answers…In my head, I hear the Beatles singing “Let it Be…”