So I stepped out into the great abyss we call the world of art.  Standing here in the midst of anxiety and wonderment, I see my past and future converge in a bright display of “holy shit what did I get myself into?” I passed the test of letting go of my pain as a child, discovered I passed the torch of dysfunction and messed up my own kids but in a different way, and found out that life is not going to pass me by and  let me stop moving forward.

As I sit here letting my wheels spin trying to figure out my next excuse for why I haven’t created any art I discovered  a new way to procrastinate and avoid the work at hand. I’m actually LOOKING for excuses and other people to blame for my inability to create! There is always going to be something I COULD blame…but why? It’s the old “if only I had a few more hours in the day” syndrome…what the f**k?!

I always seem to find time to contemplate what’s holding me back. I always seem to find the time to wander aimlessly through Facebook looking for someone else’s excuses so that I can take them on as my own and be “Liked” by a world that has no other outlet or so they say… I follow other artists on Twitter looking for inspiration, I read edgy dialogue looking for a quit witted response to global warming and death and pestilence throughout the world so that maybe, just maybe I can get riled enough to put a brush to the canvas and create a master piece of epic proportions!

Then…I sit back in my morning routine, sip another cup of coffee, get ready for yoga class and think…”I’ll find another excuse when I get home…” WTF?

Ok…I have the answer…I think I have the answer…

I make it to my yoga classes…its part of my schedule. I make it to my mom’s to help her with daily chores because she’s in my schedule…I have no problem getting to Board meetings because its…you got it! IN MY SCHEDULE! Ok…the excuses stop here! I’m going to schedule time to paint! I think…I’m gonna try…maybe… when I get that extra hour in my day… WTF?